A Parenting Book that Actually Works

Or, the book that kept me from yelling at my children.

If you follow me on Facebook, you might have seen that my almost 5 year old decided to draw on the wall with a pencil. Then while cleaning it up, she drew with an orange crayon.

Just take a minute to imagine how annoying that is.

Here, in the play area, on a light blue-grey wall...

I didn't even yell.


10 mommy points for me.


And I didn't yell because I've been reading this book, Kids Are Worth It! : Giving Your Child The Gift Of Inner Discipline.

Here's the quick synopsis. There are three types of parents. The brick-wall parent yells, screams, and says "no" as the first response. The jellyfish parent gives in, is distant/uncaring, and sets no discernible rules or boundaries for the family. You don't want to be either of these, you want to be the third type, the backbone parent. The backbone parent provides a sense of order, boundaries, love and understanding, while instilling their children with self discipline. This involves flexing a little (like a backbone) but not bending or being too rigid.

Parenting is hard work! I mean, real, hardcore parenting, where you care, engage, interact, and hopefully give your children roots in your traditions, values and beliefs while also giving them the wings to fly.

I can totally say all of that because my oldest is not even five, so the "wings" involve going to the bathroom by herself:)

Oh, and this book appears to be focused on the "three ages of rebellion" 2, 5, and teenager. So the concepts should be applicable across all the "fun" ages.

So back to the crayon-on-the-wall debacle. I let our daughter cool-off, then we talked about next steps. She would clean the wall, then we would put away the art supplies for a few days until she could work with them appropriately.

After three days, we kept talking about what it means to make a mistake and learn from it (discipline rather than punishment). She saw a motorcyclist without a helmet and told me he would get a ticket. So we talked about how paying a fine for the ticket might mean not being able to go to dinner, or if it was a very big ticket, not go on vacation, so he would always remember to follow the rules in the future. When she asked about how much it would cost to re-paint the wall if the crayon hadn't come off I told her about how much we spent for a day at Disneyland, and I think she got the message pretty clearly!

OK, I'm off my parenting podium, just wanted to share; feel free to disagree, agree, question, and support me in the comments.

Jessica

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